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What Men Can Do to Pull Their Weight in a Marriage

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A marriage is a partnership and both partners need to make sure they’re pulling their weight. If you’re a man, you might be wondering what you specifically can be doing to make sure you equally share the burden with your partner. Taking steps to pull your weight can help you and your partner truly become a partnership and it can help to improve your relationship.

Share Domestic Labor Tasks

Traditionally, a vast majority of domestic tasks such as cooking, cleaning, and caring for children have been left to women. Great strides have been taken in recent years to even out the burden of domestic tasks, but many of them still fall to women. To help pull the weight in your marriage, you should look at how much you’re participating in these domestic tasks and see how you can increase your efforts. Yes, schedules and other responsibilities can make it difficult to truly split these tasks equally, but you should still be doing your share of the work. Offer to be responsible for certain meals or for cleaning on certain days of the week. Whatever needs to get done in your household, make sure you are doing your part.

Take More Responsibility for Birth Control

Once again, women take the larger responsibility when it comes to birth control. They are typically the ones who need to be taking steps to prevent pregnancy even though both partners are responsible. As a man, you need to be doing your part when it comes to birth control. Don’t put all the responsibility on your wife. There are many options that you can consider in order to take responsibility for birth control. Vasectomies have a nearly 100% success rate at preventing pregnancy. Honestly, once you have this procedure done, neither of you really need to feel burdened with the responsibility. Talk with your wife about your intentions when it comes to having kids including if you ever want to and when you plan to have kids. During this conversation, make sure both of you take on responsibility for birth control.

Don’t Fall into a Tit for Tat Mindset

Many marriages struggle because both partners fall into a tit for tat mindset. This means you will only do your responsibilities if the other person does theirs. In a marriage, it is impossible to measure the value of each and every task. You can’t live with the mindset that you will only “equally match” what your partner is doing. Instead, just do the work. Step up and take care of what needs to be done. Some days you might be doing more and other days your partner might be doing more. Don’t try to even out the score. Just work together.

Anytime you struggle in your marriage, it’s important to evaluate your role in the struggle. There’s probably plenty that you could be doing to improve the situation. Don’t fall into a pattern of blaming your partner or pointing out what they aren’t doing. Make sure you are taking responsibility in your marriage and pulling your weight.

Check out this article on situations that call for family counseling!


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